As I talk with older women, i realise that feeling invisible is a regular occurrence for some. Moments of speaking and getting no response. Walking into a room or past a building site with non one noticing – however good you look.
Is it them?
- Is it because we remind the building site workers of Mother and they would never whistle her?
- Is it just a mindset – that older women are not of interest?
- When grey hair or the odd wrinkle creeps in, do people assume we’re past it and out of the loop?
It could be any or all of those things and many other options as well.
Or is it us?
It’s not OK just to blame ‘them out there’ – they may need to change, but perhaps we do too. Just how confident are we that we can hold our own? Will we make sure that people see us or is it tempting to sit back, letting others take all the risks?
As I grow older, I recognise just how much I don’t know. Losing the certainty of youth opens new possibilities, but brings many more questions. One thing I know for sure is that nothing is clear cut. So i can see there are times when I back off fighting a corner, because I know there are at least three other options to take into account.
What about you? Are you willing to call attention to yourself? Do you make your presence felt in a conversation? Do you believe you have something useful and interesting to say? And if your answer is No – why not?
It’s a fascinating question. Which comes first – invisibility or uncertainty? And since we can only make a difference to one of them – what are we going to do about it?