7 am – and another day of To Do’s, rushing and chores. ‘What’s the point? Nothing inspirational here’. I pile on the slap and decide which black to wear.
By the time I reach blusher, my Doubting Twin voice has built a head of steam – ‘pull yourself together – you’re so ungrateful; women the world over are managing far more than you; just count your blessings and get on it.’
Of course she’s right– I’ve a great life; I just lose the plot sometimes. Get up, get dressed and you’ll feel better, my Mother always said. So here I go – best bib and tucker and I’m on my way.
On the train and it’s time for Facebook. Surely someone there will inspire me. And right on the button – a sweet kitten appears:
It’s a good point – I have so many reasons to smile, I’ll count those blessings and enjoy my day.
Doing great until I realise: damn it, I’ve forgotten the papers I need; and I never did write that important email last night; not to mention the guy next to me spreading his legs into my space. I knew today would be tough!
But – I need to smile. OK – try again.
She’s so right – I am bigger than my concerns and worries. That’s it, I’m going to do it – I will trust my intuition and I’ll be courageous. After all, isn’t today the first day of the rest of my life?
With a spring in my step and determined stride I walk the last mile to my first meeting.
This is going to go well. I’m unstoppable!
Until the customer cancels – – too busy to meet with me today – maybe next week? Consider me stopped, with a loud bleating voice mouthing off in my head:
‘You might have known this would happen. You’re not as important as you think – it never pays to blow your own trumpet. And as for being unstoppable – that would require you to start!’
And this is only 10 am. I didn’t get the meeting I wanted, I feel bad about myself and I’ve failed a kitten!
Inspiration can be so depressing
It all comes from a desire to help – offer encouraging words that will help people make more of their lives. We’ve all done it –and we’ve all been on the receiving end.
Problem is – it never works.
Unless you’re absolutely ripe for the plucking – 110% ready to change – the wisdom will be wasted. Worse still – it gives you a new way to fail.
You can only start from where you are. Wise words are like clean clothes on top of a sweaty body – OK from the outside, but you just don’t feel good. Truth is, you’re still sweaty and until you deal with that, everything else is just window dressing to make others feel better.
All you have to do is notice and be really curious about what makes you tick. Consider how good you are at having a tough time; rate your expertise in finding the flaw; watch how you link to others – or not.
Everything you do has a good reason. Or had a good reason. So don’t belittle yourself – you’re managing the only way you know how.
You may not like it – that’s fine. But you can’t just jump out of it in response to a kitten. You have to lay the foundations for your new self, to bring the Doubting Twin with you by understanding how you got to where you are now. Be honest and accepting of who you are right now and
Then the sky’s the limit.
If you have a story to share, get in touch. I’d love to hear more.